Because that lifetime of stress kills us. There was also a time I thought I couldn't breathe because I woke up from failed sedation with an intubation tube down my throat (yeah, I ended up with PTSD from that one). That could have been fatal. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. I'd protect him & any future kids you have with everything you have in you. They do realize you could charge them for the majority of these pranks (read: crimes), right? I would leave them uninvited and strongly consider NC for the future. They are immature, idiot morons Or to respect that, for that matter. NTA. Youve subjected him to a lot and youve let A LOT slide. NTA. OOP can fucking choke. I would be pressing charges for sure. Screw this chick. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. Either hire security or elope. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! (unsaid: Sir, if it was in the wrong spot, we wouldn't know that, or we wouldn't have put it there now, would we?). Slashing tires would definitely cost someone hundreds of dollars to replace. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. NTA, if I'm 'Tim ' that prank hiding my inhaler will land op 'dad, brother, cousin and uncle' in jail for attempting murder. Your family is not doing pranks they are awful bullys and terrorizing him. . Yeah It took me way too long to realise that the crime there is very simple. NTA. Are you American? They have proven they are willing to risk his life. Id have slashed every fucking one of their tires. Your family sounds toxic as fuck. This is 200% bullying bordering on harrassment and they need to be punished accordingly. Depending on other circumstances, I may have even pressed charges. How is that funny? I was thinking that no way in hell I would let that man go alone into the woods with these chuckleheads for 3 minutes let alone 3 days after listening to all the horrible things they said and done. Honestly.. ESH except for your fianc because you let them abuse him for so long. Cut ties with everyone, save your poor poor fiance more pain then the abuse he already went trough for you, and apologize to him in behalf of your family. NTA but you wont be if you dont take drastic measures to ensure this bullying stops. He deserves so much better honestly. Not to mention dangerous. Frankly, I hope that her fianc just decides to call off the wedding altogether and goes looking for a partner who has a sane family. In your future husband's shoes, I'd have walked away from this relationship after it became clear being a part of your life invited stuff like this from your family, frankly, although I'm happy for you that he did stick around. Your question shouldn't be about uninviting your asshole family, it should be This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. Well done on sticking up for your partner! NTA. How could one write this and not think they were the asshole. And that's not even getting into how dangerous and stupid their "pranks" were. NTA. HIDING HIS INHALER? Read this before contacting the mod team. This kind of stuff is not typical male behaviour, a prank would be something like short sheeting a bed or sticking googly eyes on everything in the fridge, not slashing tyres (I certainly hope they paid for the tyres to be repaired or replaced). Honestly I would elope and not tell them and start getting closer with his family and make distance with your family. bullying. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Why didnt OP put a stop to this years ago and go NC with these idiots? If anyone is ever looking for an example, this might as well be it. Its a very dangerous prank. You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. Like seriously, do you have any idea what it's like not be able to to breathe? That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. If they see that as a joke then their heads arent screwed on correctly. Time to go no contact / extremely low contact. OP, it sounds like the men in your family are jerks and hoping your future husband wont disrupt their dysfunction. Next time they try to manipulate you into downplaying their behavior by holding their respect for Tim at ransom, tell them they will lose your respect and see how much they care about it, my guess is they won't. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. Assholes do this. We haven't spoken in months at this point which was quite standard but I invited him to attend. Or the time they slashed his tired??? Yeah, like, I think there's two judgements to be made here. YTA for ever allowing it to happen and if you continue to. Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. This relationship is toxic for your fianc. So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. I assumed that was a duh kind of question. Costing someone financially and putting said persons health at risk are not pranks NTA. You mean the spine that only materialized when her fianc couldve actually died after having already been viciously tormented for years while she apparently just stood back with the occasional protest? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk With John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST. All of them can go fuck themselves. They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. Break the cycle of toxic behaviour so your kids dont have to live in constant fear of their family. What kind of impression of themselves are they trying to make here? Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? Depending on how bad the asthma is it could be way beyond cruel. Honestly if I were your fiance I wouldn't even want to marry into that nonsense. Theyd get one prank. My dad's siblings and their wives (and children) are kind of horrible. You dont need to worry about protecting the feelings of your bullies. An inhaler is necessary medical equipment your fiance needs, not an accessory because he's "soft". He should have checked them a long time ago. Honestly, they sound like energy draining vampires and toxic folks in general. exactly. That was about two years ago, fast forward to now. Middle of the night call to wake them up hysterical, "He still isn't back, he isn't answering his phonehave you heard from himwhen do I call the police and report him missing?". Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. NTA and also I think is healthy you take some space away from your familytheir idea of manliness is so backwards. I definitely would have pressed charges. He was supposed to be the adult who loved and protected you, instead he manipulated and gaslight you in some of the most pivotal years of your life (so far). Hill to die on is a good metaphor because an asthmatic can die without his inhaler. I would completely remove my fianc from any further contact with my family if I were her. as i mentioned, the money isnt really the issue, its more just how she did it. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Those men are beyond toxic. He shouldn't have to be subjected to them for the rest of his life. Who carrys 4 plug kits? He still went camping with them after months (years?) After I graduated my mom and I repaired our relationship and now are best friends. Your family is criminally dangerous. NTA, at first I thought a couple pranks like whoopee cushions could be funny but hiding his inhaler is absolutely not a prank. OP this is the path your male family members are headed down. NTA-a set of tires can cost $1000 to replace. . Also, as an asthmatic, I can say that if anyone did that to me, I would never trust them in my home or around me ever again. Im sorry but is your family a bunch of uneducated hicks that actually think this shit is normal? He is young, maybe he will learn in time that the company we keep is, to some extent, an indicator of who we are. Fuck them. You need to put a stop to it and you should have put a stop it long time ago. Cookie Notice The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. This is not pranking, its cruel bullying and taking away your fiancs inhaler could have had deadly consequences. Yet I still had a feeling something would happen when it came to my wedding. I'd be livid, and they would stay uninvited. This is the man you are going to marry. It was terrifying, and I was so mad that they hadnt told me it was going to happen. They will absolutely do this and worse to your kids, to make sure they turn out "tough, not like their father". but what if i dont? After a few minutes of raucous razzing, you can hand them a small item and tell them they can remove the straws, taking at first only one regular breath, then back to the straw, then one regular breath, alternating for another 10 minutes. Recently, I bought a new car which I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it whenever they need. Knowing all of this, I have no idea why he would've gone on a 3 day trip with your family WITHOUT you unless he felt like he had to. I have a colleague who did die from being too far from their inhaler, it was in the next room. What your family have done is abuse, and could have easily led to harm to your fianc. Calling him the soft college kid makes it seem like its more about their feelings of inferiority instead of making your fianc prove himself. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. Damn he must love you to have continued to be abused. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. NTA. Guarantee they wouldn't find it funny if their tires were randomly slashed as a "prank.". Or die. You're siblings are just pissed because now they'll be targeted. So, he leaned into my husband's strengths, which was his extreme empathy and ability to navigate social situations and deal with mental health issues (husband is a social worker now, was studying to be one at the time). Tim is your family, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, not slash them. Gross. I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. by AITApod (Am I The A**hole Podcast) AITApod (Am I The A**hole Podcast) By Danny Vega & Sara Levine Danny Vega, TikTok cringelord, and Sara Levine, meme queen master's student, read listener submissions & pilfer from the similarly-named subreddit. Hiding someones inhaler - again, NOT a prank. People are saying NTA because the question was about whether or not she was TA for uninviting her family from the wedding and not about how good she is to her fianc. OP, this already is a wedge. Also I hope this doesn't take the shine off your wedding OP, and remember that day is about making two people happy, nobody else. The question you need to be asking is why are these sociopaths even a part of your life? Tires are expensive where Im from, so that would be an expensive prank for the victim. 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